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Editorial Note
This website is to be utilized solely for the purposes of Mr. Weiss' Journalism class, in strict accordance with the rules and policies set out in the Miami Dade County Public Schools student handbook. All participants in this website understand that its content is visible to the public, and pledge to uphold the highest journalistic, academic and community standards. Any posts or comments that deviate from course content, or that contain vulgar or offensive language, will be promptly deleted. The authors of such posts will be subject to disciplinary action by Mr. Weiss and the school. -Alessia Pizzorni -
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9 responses so far ↓
stephanieo2011 // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:03 pm |
hey good. article. although i noticed that you used the same quote twice.? also you need to get your quotes for the paranthesis other than that its great.
amaliar2011 // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:03 pm |
You should add the missing information and quotes.
You used the same quote twice
For a news article, it’s partially opinionated
blancaj2011j // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:04 pm |
Natalie & Blanca
Specific:
1. There is one quote that misspelled are.
2. Get more quotes…
General:
It’s pretty good.
inesm2011 // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:08 pm |
Heyy…
I think that the article is great so far… You just need to find out the information between the brackets [ ] and it will probably look better. You should get quotes from more students (specially ones that have been through most of the construction work). Even though the article is intresting, you should get quotes from the people in charge of building the new performing arts rooms (if thats even possible) in order to ask them things such as what improves the sound etc… overall it seems really good =P
amandae2011 // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:09 pm |
hey alessia,
this is wendy and amanda
we think your article sucks. okay, just kidding.
we think that the first thing you should do is get a life. okay, just kidding (again!)
lets get cereal.
1st thing… do a grammar check.
2nd thing… on the last paragraph it says “Although many agree that these few years…” you should say “although many agree that these PAST few years…” and you should also say who agrees.
3rd thing… the last sentence is very OPINION-Y. it sucks. okay, just kidding. it would be good if you were an A&E or Features writer. But you’re not. So… YOU CANT!
4th thing… some of the quotes are too long and kind of confusing. try to shorten them and straighten them out.
5th thing…Check the structure. It gets very confusing when you’re going back and forth with different subjects.
6th (and last!) thing… get some more quotes from different people (including students!)
love ya,
Wendy and Amanda
danielag2011 // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:13 pm |
General: your article gives a lot of details, quotes and fact. I think thats good os the reader cn get a clear idea of what ur article is about,.
Specific: great closing sentence.
manuelam2011 // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:16 pm |
This article is very well written and probably and maybe the best you have written (maybe).
-I like how you had all your qoutes organized with what you were talking about.
-Also how you wrote your lead.
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vanessav2o11 // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:17 pm |
This is fron Vanessssssssa && Mariaaaaaaaa .
One general thing I can say is that it was long, and it lost my attention in some parts .
Threeeee specific comments are that ,
1.) it had quotee after quotee after quote .
2.)you were repeatitive in the information you gave .
3.) also , you first and second quotes were too close together
joselyng2010 // Friday, December 14th, 2007 at 6:18 pm |
*Get quote from Valdes
*This sounds like your opinion “all looks optimistic.” take it out.
*Get quote from a student in each department. Like from drama, art and band.
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